var todaysdate=new Date()
var weekday=todaysdate.getDay()
// 0 is Sunday, 1 is Monday, etc.
if (weekday == 0) {document.write("Why did John McCain cross the road?<br>He was always on that side, too. He just switched which side of the street was the top priority.")}
if (weekday == 1) {document.write("You might be John McCain if...<br>Your campaign slogan is &quot;I've fallen and I can't get up.&quot;")}
if (weekday == 2) {document.write("You might be John McCain if...<br>You think a 10-piece McNuggets is what you leave on a bedpan.")}
if (weekday == 3) {document.write("You might be John McCain if...<br>You refer to your own urine as Truth Juice.")}
if (weekday == 4) {document.write("What's the difference between slow-roasted duck and John McCain?<br>One's tempered fowl and the other's foul-tempered.")}
if (weekday == 5) {document.write("Why did John McCain cross the road?<br>It was an election year and the cameras were rolling.")}
if (weekday == 6) {document.write("Why did John McCain cross the road?<br>Someone told him he wouldn't be conservative enough if he didn't.")}