What Do You Call...

1. What do Republicans call a ream of blank paper?
   The Bill of Rights.
2. What do Republicans call the entity that acquires people's immortal souls?
   Polaroid.
3. What do Republicans call a place you send talented black children?
   A maximum security penitentiary.
4. What do you call a Republican gay club?
   A baton.
5. What do you call a Republican who makes their money honestly?
   Broke.
6. What do you call a Republican with a heart?
   A cardiac surgeon.
7. What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal?
   Due.
8. What do you call a Republican home with an outhouse?
   Modern.
9. What do you call the game Republicans never buy because they're afraid of it?
   Twister. They think it'll carry their home away.
10. What do you call the crime Republicans punish with 47 consecutive death penalties?
    Independent thought.
11. What's the difference between a Republican and a toilet?
    The toilet's only full of shit until you pull the handle.
12. What exactly is a compassionate conservative?
    One who cries just a little while flogging hobos with a 2 x 4.
13. What's the difference between a Republican soup kitchen and a Democrat one?
    In the Democrat version, the homeless people are on the receiving end.
14. What do Republicans call everyone they know who doesn't earn all their money by investing Daddy's capital?
    Jeeves.
15. What's the difference between a Republican and a Klan member?
    The Republican forgot to cut eye holes in his hood.