The Elephant Jokes, Republicanized

1. How do you keep a Republican from charging?
   Give them a negative interest rate.
2. How do you keep a Republican from charging?
   Put them in a vehicle that gets more than 15 miles per gallon.
3. How do you keep a Republican from charging?
   Tell them the interest income goes to charity.
4. What time is it when a Republican sits on your fence?
   Time to turn on the electricity.
5. How do you get a Republican into your refrigerator?
   Tell him some homeless kids will keep their lunches in it otherwise.
6. How do you get two Republicans into your refrigerator?
   Find the first one's brother and tell him she's in the mood.
7. How do you get Jesus into a Republican's refrigerator?
   He's already been spotted there in a container of yogurt.
8. How do you get to see the contents of Jesus's stomach?
   Take him to your refrigerator and show him what's happening inside.
9. Why do they say elephants never forget?
   They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
10. What time is it when Bob Allen sits on your fence?
    Time to get your camera. You'll never see him again not on his knees.