What's icy and distant and comes only once every 75 years?
A Republican's wife.
What's been exposed to lots of books and gets wood really easily?
A Republican's fireplace.
What do you get when you cross Dick Cheney with a lawnmower?
Once you find someone who's willing to cross Dick Cheney in the first place, I'll tell you.
What's the one thing Republican men are more afraid of than legalization of gay marriage?
Women.
What has a large trunk and plenty of oil, but is always stalling?
A Republican approving a cure for an STD.
What's black and white and red all over?
Katherine Harris's makeup.
What's made because of Republicans, big enough to be seen from space, and resides in China?
American interest payments.
What's black and white and red all over?
An interracial couple after Republicans are through with them.
What's black and white and red all over?
A Republican's clothing on St. Patrick's Day.
What has two arms, two legs, and three brains?
A hundred Republicans with a lot of amputated limbs.
What's black and white and red all over?
Richard Curtis's lingerie.
What has multiple limbs and plenty of bark, and gets two rings around 14 years of age?
A Republican bride.
What do you get when you mix a Republican politician with a Republican voter?
Hick Cheney.
What do you get when you cross Republican legislators Bob Allen and Larry Craig?
A month relatively free of closeted gay scandals for the Republican Party.
